AND YET ANOTHER DULL DAY IN DULLSVILLE

AND YET ANOTHER DULL DAY IN DULLSVILLE

by Trev Teasdel

Dear Diary -

Solstice

House prices were up again but the agent said he had the perfect find for a first time buyer. Ok so it's not exactly a 'roof above my head' and the amenities leave much to be desired, but it's a home, and as the agent said 'what was good for the ancients will be good for you". Agents are cool people, they know just what to say to get that 'feel good factor' going when you are about to run away and scream! As my agent said - no electricity bills - the stars come free - God picks up the bill! God certainly has more money than me - just look what he's built - a universe for God's sake - well it would be for his sake - or her sake - whatever gender the supremo may be. However the agent said it was an absolute bargain as something special happens at Solstice. That can't be bad - how many house buyers have that!!

I do miss telly but then I've got sky - and you should see the programmes it shows - just look at the snap shot above. No telly licence needed and the programmes are much more interesting! It's a good neighbourhood too - I get a lot of hippy folk drop in (which is a new one for them as they are used to dropping out!) - they strum guitars, bongos and sometimes each other and a bit of free love too - that's what's nice about this property - everything's free! They are cool - they do all the stereotypical things to please the crowd but when you get to know them their real depth shows.

Banking has Changed a Bit!

This morning I had to go to the bank to arrange the mortgage - it was a bit of a shock - there had been a change of management and the cashier had been fired. Surprisingly the new management do reasonable rates and they have no rip-off bank charges. It took a bit of belly-tickling to get a decent rate but I warmed to it. I must admit I had to grapple with my concept of 'normality' and 'propriety' but to hell with it - a bit of belly tickling is loads better than producing Driving licences and passports and proving status etc. Not one form did I fill in, not once did he ask if I had a job. If he likes you - you get the dosh - if he doesn't you get toasted for lunch. I always keep a few riddles up my sleeve - it works wonders with the new bank manager!

There's no shops near by but there's a good spot for fishing. I was a bit taken aback because I am a vegetarian but the agent reassured me they are strictly vegetarian fish - so that's cool. Mind they are rather big for Goldfish - it must be this global warming everyone goes on about. God must've left the heating on again.

A nice effect of Global warming, ironically, is that a bit of a Glacier landed near by which makes an ideal fridge. There's plenty of storage room and it's at least a 1000 star. It's not a good place for love making but you can't have everything! The agent does a nice line in cut-price vegetarian Polar bears - that and the fish keep me going nicely.

The communal fridge is so big we have a special hydro-car for getting around it and often couples go for a day-out in the fridge - there's some wonderful views and sliding down the icicles is great fun.

Because of global warming and rising sea levels some of the folk nearby are developing underwater colonies in preparation for the deluge - I often eat a special kind of seaweed with them that lets you breath underwater and visit their beautiful glass-domed city beneath the waves. I have a special friend there - her name is Opal Reality in English - that does for me! That wave action does something for your sex-drive - I can tell you.

Oh well - it's been just another dull day here in Dullsville but I thought I'd blog it nonetheless but first a glimpse of Opal Reality - I hope you like her - but not too much!